65. The Shadows We Bring Into the Room with Nir Esterman

In this rich and deeply reflective conversation, I’m joined by Nir Esterman teacher of Family Constellations, embodiment practitioner, and developer of Shadow Constellations.

Together, we explore what happens beneath the surface of our work as facilitators, therapists, and helping professionals. What we are not in touch with doesn’t simply disappear; it shapes the field. It shapes our clients’ experience. And sometimes, it shapes what becomes possible in a session… or what remains stuck.

Nir shares openly about:

• Growing up as a second-generation to Holocaust survivors

• How intergenerational trauma lives in the body and the field

• Blind spots and facilitator responsibility

• The rescuer–victim–perpetrator dynamic

• Helplessness and the “silent accomplice”

• Cultural shadows and collective trauma

• Sexuality, death, and the themes we often avoid

• How shadow work increases safety in the room

This episode is an invitation into maturity, into acknowledging what is present, even when it is uncomfortable, and into understanding that the facilitator is always part of the field.

As Nir so beautifully expresses, this work is not about blame. It is about awareness. And awareness creates safety.

Upcoming Trainings with Nir Esterman

1. India – Early Prenatal & Incarnation Shadows

🗓 Early April (2.5-day workshop)

2. Shadow Constellations Training – Bali

📍 Ubud, Bali 🗓 April 17–22, 2026 (6 days, in person)

Connect with Nir

🌐 Website: www.niresterman.com

(You can also search “Shadow Constellations”)

Facebook: Nir Esterman

I’d love to hear what resonates with you—drop me a message on Instagram @tracy.cartwright  and for more insights visit my website at tracycartwright.co.nz